“MORSE LIVES!” (A review)

Whenever I’m struggling to write and I’ve convinced myself I can barely string a coherent sentence together, one of the ways I get out of it is by going off and writing a product review for the online retailer Amazon.

It helps you to string a cohesive argument together in less than 1000 words, focuses the mind on actually putting some words down, and might just prove prove “helpful” to some anonymous someone as well. I don’t know, maybe it’s a bit “sad” or maybe it’s making me something of a “muggins”, but I found it a quite therapeutic way of convincing myself I was still actually writing when I felt I really, really couldn’t.

This was one of my favourites, (and possibly one of the more bizarre efforts) and I sincerely hope that Amazon don’t have an issue with me sharing my own words with you. It’s for the old 33 DVD Box Set of THE COMPLETE INSPECTOR MORSE and having watched all the films back-to-back, the voices seemed very clear to me.

Anyway, all of 10 people found it “helpful” over the last year or so, so that’s nice:-

Morse Lives! (6 August 2009)

"LEWIS!"

"Sir?"

Lewis rubbed his head where he had knocked it against the television stand at the unexpected sound of the Inspector's voice.

"I may well have been attempting to rest in peace for much of this last decade, Lewis, but I keep getting interrupted. Can't think in these modern urns..."

"Ah, well that'll be these DVD releases, Sir..."

"These what?"

"DVDs! Ah, they're great, man! After your time I expect. Like - I dunno - a Compact Disc, I suppose... only with pictures..."

"Never really took to CDs, Lewis..."

"Sir! All 33 of our cases - from over 13 years on the telly - all in one box! Ah! It's magic!"

"You'd think people would be sick to death of them by now..."

"Not at all, Sir! I watch them again and again. They're really good! Whenever I think that one of them's going to be a bit... over-familiar like... it still always manages to surprise me somehow..."

"Now why doesn't that surprise ME, Lewis?"

"Be fair, Sir! There's some great actors in there... doing their thing... and Oxford looks grand!"

"They must seem pretty old fashioned by now I suppose..."

"Not a bit of it. Fresh as a daisy. I mean there's the odd turntable record player and some clunky old computers of course, but they don't really matter that much..."

"Sounds dreadful..."

"Ah the sound's brilliant! Pictures too! Nowadays, you wouldn't need to keep going to all those concerts of yours either! You'd be amazed at how good your Waggoner looks on one of these..."

"Wagner, Lewis. Wagner. As in vase..."

"Which is where I keep you, sir... On the mantelpiece... next to the photo of the wife."

"Thank you, Lewis..."